IC Prospective: Karkat Vantas 4th year

[candycrabapple]

Character: Karkat Vantas.
Mun: Otter.
Plot specific: No



OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU FANTASTICALLY TALENTED PEOPLE, A PHRASE I AM USING WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF SINCERITY I CAN UTTER, THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SO UNBELIEVABLY FUCKING FUNNY TO PUT A SIGN ON THE GREAT HALL DOORS SAYING "4TH YEARS MUST BE THIS TALL TO ENTER" AND PUT IT 5 INCHES ABOVE MY HEAD?

DO YOU MISERABLE SACKS OF FRESHLY SQUEEZED DONKEY SHIT ACTUALLY THINK THAT'S FUNNY? BECAUSE REALLY, IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK STUPIDER AND MORE IMMATURE THEN ANY OF THE FIRST YEARS THAT ARE COMING IN. CONSIDERING THIS IS STILL FIRST TERM, THAT'S REALLY GOD DAMN STUPID AND IMMATURE.

GROW UP.

Comments

[wwistful]

Colourful language, Vantas. 10 points from Gryffindor for your creative streak.

As for the sign, I'd suggest you take it down but given the circumstances that seems almost cruel.

[candycrabapple]

WAIT, WHAT?!

I THINK UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES MY COLOURFUL LANGAUGE SHOULD BE PERMITED BECAUSE THAT IS TOTAL BULLSHIT CRAP.

OH HAR HAR, I AM HAVING TO HOLD ONTO MY CHAIR TO KEEP FROM FALLING OFF THIS CHAIR FROM THAT. NO REALLY, THAT WAS COMEDY GOLD IN EVERY WAY. EXCEPT THAT IT WASN'T EVEN SORT OF FUNNY.

I ALREADY RIPPED THE STUPID SIGN DOWN. BECAUSE I *CAN* REACH UP 5 INCHES.

[wwistful]

You're as bright as you are tall, Vantas.

Do you really think arguing and disrespecting me is going to endear you to me? I wonder how many more points I'll have to deduct until you realise how moronic you're being.

[candycrabapple]

[Is so staring at the journal with an 'are you shitting' look on his face.]
NO, THAT'S OKAY, REALLY I CAN DO WITH OUT MORE PEOPLE GETTING ON MY CASE ABOUT LOSING POINTS. I'LL JUST STAND HERE ON THE SIDELINES KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT.

EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T ARGUING. I WAS JUST MAKING A SIMPLE COMMENT ON A TEACHERS SLIGHT AGAINST AN INSULTED TEENAGER. NO REALLY, IT'S OKAY I GUESS. BULLYING IS NATURALLY A PART OF GOING TO SCHOOL.

BUT HEY, I'M BEING ALL GOOD RESPECTFUL AND QUIET NOW, JUST WATCH. BECAUSE HERE I GO.

[givesyouaboner]

A wise man once told me, 'don't feed the trolls.' I feel like this advice applies here. There's no rule that says you have to acknowledge someone's stupid joke.

[candycrabapple]

I'M POINTING THAT SHITTY SIGN OUT SO I CAN SEE WHO ADMITS TO IT, BECAUSE I HAVE EVERY INTENTION OF RIPPING THEIR LUNGS OUT AND BEATING THEM TO DEATH WITH THE WETTEST PART OF IT. GIVING THEM THE OPPORTUNITY TO REALISE THEIR OH SO PANTS SHITTING HILARIOUS PRANK IT. BECAUSE I KNOW IT WAS MEANT FOR ME.

[givesyouaboner]

It sounds like you need to invest in some anger management classes. I'm sure one of the professors wouldn't mind it.
Have you considered that there are plenty of students that are shorter than you?

[bubblingover]

I don't t)(ink you )(ave muc)( of a sense of )(umor, Karkat!

Well, i t)(oug)( it was funny at any rate.

[candycrabapple]

I HAVE AN AMAZING SENSE OF HUMOUR. I HAVE TO IN ORDER TO PUT UP WITH ALL THE BRAIN TRUSTS AT THIS SCHOOL WHO PULL THIS KIND OF CHILDISH HORSE SHIT SO MUCH.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT, IT FILLS ME WITH SO MUCH JOY TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE LAUGHING AT MY EXPENSE, FEFERI. I AM JUST SO DEEPLY TOUCHED YOU HAVE NO IDEA. AND YES, BELIEVE ME, I AM BEING COMPLETELY SARCASTIC ABOUT THAT.

[bubblingover]

maybe if you at least tried to laug)( you mig)(t actually see t)(e point of t)(e joke!

also i know w)(at sarcasm is, i've spent enoug)( time wit)( you know w)(at exactly that is, w)(ich )(asn't be alot anyway!

[notthebee2]

lmao.

[candycrabapple]

FUCK YOU WITH THE WIDE END OF AN OLD RUSTY RAKE, CAPTOR. WAS IT YOU? BECAUSE I REALLY WOULDN'T PUT THIS KIND OF SHIT PAST YOU.

[notthebee2]

no but iid love two fiind out who diid iit 2o ii could hiigh fiive them.

[mabelangelo]

you have to admit thats pretty funny

[candycrabapple]

IT'S ABOUT AS FUNNY AS A STAPLE GUN TO THE FACE, WHICH IS TO SAY IT REALLY ISN'T!

[mabelangelo]

no way a staple gun to the face would actually hurt!

this is more like someone tickled you with a cattail in your sleep!

[greaselightning]

vwhoa, hey there chief, maybe you should calm dovwn a little?
its just a joke, nothing to get up in arms about.

[candycrabapple]

JOKES ARE FUNNY, AND I DON'T REMEMBER ONCE LAUGHING AT THIS. IT'S JUST SOMEONE'S PATHETIC ATTEMPTS TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE FEEL BAD JUST SO THEY CAN GET AN EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP.

BESIDES, THEY HAVE ALL THIS MAGIC AT THEIR DISPOSAL AND ALL THEY DID WAS TAPE A SIGN TO THE DOOR. IF THEY HAD AT LEAST GONE TO SOME GOD DAMN EFFORT, I COULD AT LEAST APPRECIATE THE FUCKING EFFORT PUT IN.

[greaselightning]

a joke doesnt havwe to be funny to all parties invwolvwed, you knowv.
but perhaps thats just part of the joke? the fact they put so little effort into this, that they knewv itd provwoke such a putrid response from you.
theyre probably laughing themselvwes half to death vwith all the hilarious nonsense youre going on about, friend.

[wavesofjade]

Calm Down, Sweetheart.

[candycrabapple]

WHY? IT'S NOT FAIR. THE SIGN WAS LIKE PUTTING FUCKING TROLL BALLS ABOVE MY FACE IN MY FACE.

I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE NOT CALM ABOUT THIS.

[wavesofjade]

Of Course You Do Dear.
But Do You Not Think That This Reaction Is What They Want?

[clockspinner]

hahaha

[candycrabapple]

DON'T YOU 'HAHAHA' ME. IT WAS YOU WASN'T IT? YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS TO PULL SOME PATHETIC AND CHILDISH JOKE LIKE THAT, DIDN'T YOU?

YES I kept this icon

[clockspinner]

now cmon vantas tell me true
you really think i would go to the trouble of disguising my handwriting just for you

cant say i dont wanna give whoever did it a standing ovation though