IC Prospective: Karkat Vantas 4th year

[candycrabapple]

Character: Karkat Vantas.
Mun: Otter.
Plot specific: No



OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU FANTASTICALLY TALENTED PEOPLE, A PHRASE I AM USING WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF SINCERITY I CAN UTTER, THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SO UNBELIEVABLY FUCKING FUNNY TO PUT A SIGN ON THE GREAT HALL DOORS SAYING "4TH YEARS MUST BE THIS TALL TO ENTER" AND PUT IT 5 INCHES ABOVE MY HEAD?

DO YOU MISERABLE SACKS OF FRESHLY SQUEEZED DONKEY SHIT ACTUALLY THINK THAT'S FUNNY? BECAUSE REALLY, IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK STUPIDER AND MORE IMMATURE THEN ANY OF THE FIRST YEARS THAT ARE COMING IN. CONSIDERING THIS IS STILL FIRST TERM, THAT'S REALLY GOD DAMN STUPID AND IMMATURE.

GROW UP.

Comments

[greaselightning]

vwhoa, hey there chief, maybe you should calm dovwn a little?
its just a joke, nothing to get up in arms about.

[candycrabapple]

JOKES ARE FUNNY, AND I DON'T REMEMBER ONCE LAUGHING AT THIS. IT'S JUST SOMEONE'S PATHETIC ATTEMPTS TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE FEEL BAD JUST SO THEY CAN GET AN EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP.

BESIDES, THEY HAVE ALL THIS MAGIC AT THEIR DISPOSAL AND ALL THEY DID WAS TAPE A SIGN TO THE DOOR. IF THEY HAD AT LEAST GONE TO SOME GOD DAMN EFFORT, I COULD AT LEAST APPRECIATE THE FUCKING EFFORT PUT IN.

[greaselightning]

a joke doesnt havwe to be funny to all parties invwolvwed, you knowv.
but perhaps thats just part of the joke? the fact they put so little effort into this, that they knewv itd provwoke such a putrid response from you.
theyre probably laughing themselvwes half to death vwith all the hilarious nonsense youre going on about, friend.

[candycrabapple]

'FRIEND'? YOU AND I AREN'T FRIENDS, IN FACT I VERY MUCH DOUBT THERE IS ANY UNIVERSE THAT YOU COULD EVER CONSIDER US FRIENDS. EVEN IF YOU WORE GLASSES AND TRIED TO SQUINT, YOU STILL WOULDN'T BE CALL ANYTHING BETWEEN US AS FRIENDSHIP.

WELL EXCUSE ME FOR NOT LIKING IT WHEN PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF ME FOR MY HEIGHT, I DIDN'T FUCKING CHOOSE TO BE SHORT, IT'S UP THERE WITH MAKING A JOKE ABOUT ME HAVING A NOSE. ALSO, EXPLAIN TO ME HOW BEING OFFENDED BY STUPIDITY IS CONSIDERED A PUTRID RESPONSE? BECAUSE I'M SURE THAT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT ANSWER THAT SHOULD BE SUBMITTED TO THE ANNALS OF TIME, FOR BEING THE MOST PROFOUND THING NOBODY EVER FELT WAS WORTH SAYING.

[greaselightning]

hey relax, pal. vwe might not be friends nowv, and evwen vwith that less than positivwe outlook on our grovwing relationship, doesnt mean there isnt the possibility for a beautiful friendship to spavwn from this.
unless youre looking to cut right to the chase, and vwhat you vwant isnt a friendship at all, but something more invwolvwed, one could say...

ahahaha, vwell, considering howv much vwitriol youre sharing vwith evweryone here, id say its pretty damn putrid.

[candycrabapple]

INVOLVED? WAIT, WHAT? NO. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST SOMETHING LIKE THAT? I'M THE SAME AGE AS YOUR LITTLE BROTHER, YOU ATTEMPTED CRADLE ROBBER.

NOTHING I'M SAYING IS PUTRID, I'M JUST GIVING LETTING EVERYONE KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE SITUATION.

[greaselightning]

hey, calm dovwn. so much tension cant be any good for you. and so vwhat? evwen if you ARE his age, you arent HIM, so i dont see the problem here.

hey chief, vwhatevwer you vwant to call it. either vway, i think youre givwing them exactly vwhat theyre after.

[candycrabapple]

THERE'S A PROBLEM BECAUSE YOU'RE AN AMPORA AND I HAVE NO LOVE FOR THE IDEA OF HAVING EITHER OF YOU NEAR ME LIKE THAT, IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT IS GOING TO BE HAPPENING ANY TIME SOON, BECAUSE YOU'RE BOTH DOUCHE NOZZLES.

OH YES, EXACTLY WHAT THEY'RE AFTER. BECAUSE I'M CLEARLY HERE IN MY BED WEEPING MY EYES OUT FOR THEY'RE EXCELLENTLY PERFECTED INSULT SIGN! OH SHIT, HOW AM I TO LIVE NOW WITH ALL THIS SHAME POURING DOWN MY FACE.

NO.
WAIT. THAT'S NOT WHAT'S HAPPENING AT ALL, TRY AGAIN SPLOOGE-CANOE.