IC Prospective

[centaurstestes]

Character: Equius Zahhak
Mun: Gnome
Plot specific: Not particularly


D --> Now that the Easter holidays are over and done with, I believe that now would be a good time to cease with the sheneighnigans
D --> I am tired of finding eggs in my things
D --> It's not funny
D --> Whoever is causing eggs to spontaneous spawn about my person had best stop it now
D --> I demand it
D --> If it does not stop, I will take measures to make it stop, and you will not like it

Comments

[mo_cara]

oH, hEy, BrO, yOu GoNnA mOtHeRfUcKiN eAt ThOsE?

[centaurstestes]

D --> No
D --> They're not cooked and I don't know if they have been fertilized or not
D --> I banish them back to wherever it is they came from

[mo_cara]

Oh.
ShIt, WaIt, DoEs ThAt MeAn ThErE bE sOmE rEaLlY mOtHeRfUcKiN fAt ChIcKeNs ArOuNd HeRe?

[wwistful]

It is a ridiculous excuse for a holiday, isn't it?

[centaurstestes]

D --> Possibly
D --> Or it could be the same egg summoned over and over again
D --> Or they could have been stolen from the kitchens
D --> Also, please do not use such crude language in front of me
D --> You know how I feel about it

[centaurstestes]

D --> I'm not partic001arly thrilled with it, no
D --> I am eager for classes to recommence
D --> While a visit home is all very well and good, I don't care for the interruption in my studies

[mo_cara]

sHiT, sOrRy, MoThErFuCkEr.
WaIt, HoLd Up.

[A pause, a few inkblots, then-]

ThErE, tHaT's MoThErF***In BeTtEr!
HeY, bRo, I gOt SoMe Sh*t FoR yOu.
It AiN't BeIn AlL nAtUrAl LiKe ThEm MoThErF***In EgGs.
Oh, D*Mn, ThOuGh, HoW dO yOu KnOw ThEm LiTtLe WhItE mIrAcLe LiQuId BaBy ChIcKeNs Is ReAl?
MaYbE ThErE's MoThErF***In CaNdY iNsIdE! ;o)

[centaurstestes]

D --> Oh my gosh, no, that is not better
D --> You've enchanted the page to censor your words for you, haven't you
D --> Could you possibly get any lazier
D --> Really, would it kill you to put even a little effort into bettering yourself, Makara
D --> I can hardly stand to be seen with you

D --> Because I shook them, Makara, how else
D --> They did not rattle, therefore they must be real and not contain candy
D --> It's called deductive reasoning
D --> I would suggest you try it, but I highly doubt you have the brain capacity for even basic logic

[animalmagnetism]

{>Now why didn't I think of that?<}
{>Are they decorated eggs?<}
{>Wait!<}
{>If you don't like eggs then!<}

[Yes, those are fairy wings sketched around the words. Also, not long after there appears chocolate. Flying chocolate. Delicious, when it's caught!]

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

oH, i LEFT YOU ONE,
i'M SORRY,,,
i HOPE IT DIDN'T MAKE YOU MAD,
i DIDN'T, uH, kNOW ANYONE ELSE HAD TOO,
yOU CAN GIVE IT BACK, iF YOU DON'T WANT IT,

[centaurstestes]

[All the facepalms, Sir, all of them.]

[Not... that he's going to say no to chocolate]

D --> I like eggs
D --> Eggs are delicious and an e%cellent source of protein
D --> I just prefer to be sure that there are no potential chicks contained inside
D --> Yes, they were co100red
D --> Thank you for the chocolate, Sir

[arachnoble]

Maybe you should just relaaaax.

It's not like the eggs are harming you. Yet.

[centaurstestes]

D --> Well, as long as it's only one
D --> I can appreciate the gesture
D --> Showing respect and deference to your betters is always an appropriate a%ion
D --> I will keep it

[centaurstestes]

D --> I am rela%ed, Ma'am
D --> I am perfectly, 100% calm
D --> That is why I am a%ing politely for it to stop
D --> And not threatening to throw people into walls

D --> Also, it would take more than an egg to harm me

[arachnoble]

Uh huh.

And you know, there are spells that will turn eggs into rather damaging explosives. Things aren't always as harmless as they seem.

[centaurstestes]

D -->
D --> If you are the one sending them, I am fairly certain I can report this to the headmaster and have you removed from your position

[arachnoble]

Do you honestly think I have nothing better to do with my time?

I'm almost insulted.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

i, aCTUALLY DID IT TO BE NICE,
bUT, yES,
i MEAN,
i TOTALLY RESPECT YOU,
uHH, lOTS,

[centaurstestes]

D --> Forgive me if I do not take perceived threats towards my person lightly
D --> And you do have a habit of tormenting students, Madam Matteris
D --> You ought to mind your words better, if you do not wish to give off the wrong impression

[centaurstestes]

D --> Why would you be "nice" to me

[arachnoble]

There's no fun in blowing someone's limbs off.

[She would know from experience.]

I was simply informing you that someone could have spelled these eggs you keep finding. Considering your attitude, I imagine there would be quite a few students who wouldn't mind harming you in some way.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

uH, iS THERE A REASON i SHOULDN'T BE,

[selfhatred]

WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE GIVE A NOOKSNIFFING ASSHOLE LIKE YOU EASTER EGGS?

[centaurstestes]

D --> It's hardly my fault if the purity of my b100d frightens them
D --> And they certainly will have to be quicker with their spells if they wish to do me in
D --> I am far too STRONG to be taken down so lightly

[centaurstestes]

D --> Because I am handsome, STRONG, smart, and talented individ001
D --> And they admire me
D --> Obviously