IC: Prospective: Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

[inator]

Character: Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
Mun: Kabby
Plot specific: N

You know what we should do with magic? Cloning. That would be neat, wouldn't it? I mean... Clones! More yous to hang out with! Who wouldn't want that?

I don't think that would really be an Alchemy thing, though. I'd need some help. Maybe I can make a "let's figure out how to make clones" club. People would join that, right? It's better than a Table Top RPG club. Oh, sure, that stuff seems fun, but let me tell you -- No! When I was a boy, I had a very traumatic experience with table top rpg. I threw the dice and they knocked over a glass of milk! The entire game was ruined, and everyone blamed me, but was I the one who brought milk to the table? No! And that is why I hate table top roleplay games, and also the expression 'don't cry over spilled milk'.

Comments

[eighttimeshandy]

You had me at clones then lost me at the childhood trauma.

[inator]

Then we can focus on the clone part!

[eighttimeshandy]

You're not going to ramble off into childhood trauma at frequent intervals, are you?

[inator]

Well, not if nobody is going to be a good listener.

[semiaquatic]

No.

Specially if you use it on yourself.

[inator]

Who else am I going to use it on? I'm certainly not going to use it on you.

[semiaquatic]

And why not? I'm sure that one more of me'll be a lot better than one more of you.

[inator]

You are so rude, Perry the Professor! So rude that I... I can't even read what you're writing. That's how rude it is. So there!

[remembertheroses]

What are clones, Professor?

[inator]

A clone is a copy of a person! Your clone would be just like you.

Hopefully. The magic could go horribly wrong, I suppose.

[remembertheroses]

Like a magical portrait?

[inator]

Exactly! But a clone!

[mabelangelo]

professor dorfensmits doofelsmort doofenshmirtz!!

i think that would be AWESOME!
you can count me in on wanting to help!!

even though i think the rpg club would be kinda fun but thats more dippers club than mine

[inator]

Alright, cool! Counting one in! Soon you can have dozens of Mabels running around, and-- Okay, that might be a little overwhelming. But I guess we should all of have equal access to cloning rights or whatever!

He might be having fun now, but wait until they turn on him!

[mabelangelo]

no way i know that we can handle multiple mes!
but we should it would only be fair
if one person gets cloned then everyone should!!!

i doubt they would do that though!
times change and i dont think that if drop a glass of something that he would get blamed and ruin the game

[inator]

Well, maybe not everyone.

Times may change, but kids are always cruel.

filtered

[mysterytwin]

Mabel, don't you remember what happened when I cloned myself last year in order to dance with Wendy at the school ball?

filtered

[mabelangelo]

well duuhhh
of course i do!
but that happened to you and you have all the fun
i think another me would be cool and its not like ill do what you did dipper
me and my other mabel would have a ton of adventures!!

[mysterytwin]

Somehow I think clones would be a bad idea.

[Speaking from experience here!]

[inator]

That's how you know it's a good idea! When other people tell you it's bad!

[mysterytwin]

Don't you think that's kind of backwards? What if they turn on you like they do in the movies?

[skullsandstuff]

You're kind of easily traumatized. If you had more yous you'd probably end up offending yourself.

[inator]

No way, that's the whole point! Or part of it, anyway. Other mes would understand me!

And I am not easily traumatized. It was a very emotional experience!

[skullsandstuff]

Not unless you could read each others' minds constantly. Unless people know why you're doing whatever you're doing, it's very easy to offend them. Especially when they're sensitive.

Why? Did they beat you or something?

[heartwrenching]

You've got yourself a very interesting little plan there, professor. I must admit, it's one of the best I've heard in ages! I've always wondered what it would be like to challenge myself in a fight, and at long last you offer a solution! It's like a beacon of light in a dark, cold world!! Brilliant!

Ahhhh, but I'm very certain that I'm me. And by extension, another me would be just as - IF NOT MORE! - certain that I'm me. That is to say, that he is me. But then where have I gone in this equation?! I'm still me, but so is he, and AGH! There's the conundrum! Who has the right to be the me that he has always been and WILL always be?!

Professor, your idea is simply the worst I've ever heard.