IC Prospective: The Psiioniic, Homestuck

[psiignlanguage]

Character: The Psiioniic
Mun: Alphie
Plot Specific: N


Attention Students (and some members of Hogwarts Faculty and Staff).

Just because I have sent out letters or homework to other students and staff members written in runes, Greek, Sanskrit or Daedric, does not always mean that they are letters containing vitally important and serious information. I highly suggest that if you happen to find one of my letters to assume that the messages contained within them are nothing but silliness and nonsense. Unless I have specifically assigned homework involving the translation of one of this scripts into Roman script, please disregard the parchment you might find. A

dditionally, if I am to receive yet another response to one of these letters expressing poorly written jokes or insults being directed my way, let it be known that you will receive a reply, and it will not be pretty.

Comments

[clockspinner]

one too many dicks in the margins professor?

[psiignlanguage]

More along the lines of one too many lewd messages being returned my way. I do hope that the students who've decided to make a mockery of this class enjoy their punishment.

[nothingrhymeswithcecil]

Professor, you know that when you say it's not important, that just sounds like you're trying to hide something, right?

[psiignlanguage]

But there is absolutely nothing of interest in those messages. Just simple correspondence between myself and others. Why would--

Oh. I think I see what you mean.

[nothingrhymeswithcecil]

Yeah, the best way to keep a secret is to tell yourself you don't have one.

[psiignlanguage]

But I don't have any secrets. I'd be happy to translate these messages for anyone who was curious about their contents, but, there's nothing hidden at all. If they want to translate them, by all means.

However, it seems that whichever guides they're using to assist in translation are incredibly inaccurate if they're all leading to students responding with completely outrageous comments.

[nothingrhymeswithcecil]

Well, certain students still have a lot of maturing to do.

[psiignlanguage]

To be entirely honest, I hope that I might be able to have some sort of influence on them maturing a bit.

[nothingrhymeswithcecil]

I hope so! Sometimes it's just too much.

[psiignlanguage]

Actually, wouldn't it be something if I did start sending some obscene messages to my family then? That may warrant a laugh, wouldn't it?

[nothingrhymeswithcecil]

It might be kind of funny, but it would also prove that some people never grow up.

[psiignlanguage]

Yes I believe a certain colleague of mine may fit within that category of people who have yet to grow up.

[nothingrhymeswithcecil]

Oh, really? Who?

[psiignlanguage]

Professor Vantas.

[selfhatred]

YOU KNOW, IF YOU TELL PEOPLE TO ASSUME IT'S FUCKING STUPID PEOPLE ARE GOING TO FUCKING LOOK.

[psiignlanguage]

I have no problem if they look! But to assume it's so private? It's not! I'm just more comfortable writing in runes or Greek!

[cuddlefishpeixes]

Are you alrig)(t, Professor?

[psiignlanguage]

No. I'm really not. Someone keeps picking up my letters to and from my mother. I have no idea why or how they keep winding up in other peoples hands.

[cuddlefishpeixes]

O)(, t)(at's AWFUL!
Do t)(e owls keep dropping t)(em? Maybe you s)(ould get your very own owl! T)(e ones in the owlery get tired sometimes.

[psiignlanguage]

I honestly think that another student is intercepting the owls before they even reach me. I would get my own, but I simply can't afford one.

[jasmineofthewest]

Oh, I quite enjoyed the challenge of trying to decipher it, before realizing it was nothing. It's been a terribly long time since I practiced, though I was quite good at it in school.

[psiignlanguage]

Excellent! You can vouch for my position then! It's utter nonsense!

Oh no, not you too. I honestly thought I just had to worry about the kids getting into my mail!

[jasmineofthewest]

Of course I can vouch for you!

And why on earth would I get in your mail?

[psiignlanguage]

Well if you've seen the contents, wouldn't you have gotten into my mail!

[jasmineofthewest]

Oh, I suppose my rune translation has turned to garbage. I knew I was getting old, but not that old.

I had no idea I was reading your mail.

[psiignlanguage]

What did you think you were reading then?
Love letters?

[jasmineofthewest]

No, it was quite literally silliness and nonsense.

sort of like,

djlghdfhsdjsdgfkh sdlgjkhfdhdjfhdluet dituiegfkjhl

and so on.

I thought that was the intention, you know... to present a challenge! And it was indeed challenging. I am just ashamed to admit how awful I've gotten at translating runes.

[Oh no, he's lying. He translated them pretty flawlessly. Oops.]

[psiignlanguage]

You do know I deliberately put a sentence quite like that somewhere in all of my letters, right?

[Oh what now?]

[jasmineofthewest]

Oh, do you? That's interesting. Well either way, I will certainly return your mail to you as soon as possible. And as an apology, would you like to have tea with me sometime? Perhaps this weekend?

[psiignlanguage]

What sort of tea?

[jasmineofthewest]

Any kind of tea. Though I'm quite talented at judging someones tea preference, even if they may not know they like the kind I pick out. Perhaps I'll surprise you.

[psiignlanguage]

Then what is my favorite tea?

[Hint: it's a blend of two teas.]

[nosigntospeakof]

CY, WHAT DID YOU DO?

[psiignlanguage]

Absolutely nothing!
What did YOU do?

[nosigntospeakof]

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
HONEST!

[psiignlanguage]

I KNOW you know how to read these things! Have you been intercepting my mail, Sal?
HAVE YOU?

[nosigntospeakof]

MAYBE JUST A LITTLE.

[psiignlanguage]

Are you the one who keeps sending me the lewd messages as well?
It's not funny!

[nosigntospeakof]

WHAT.
NO, THAT WASN'T ME AT ALL.
I SWEAR.
DI IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORY THOUGH.

[psiignlanguage]

SAL...!

[Lisping. Lisping everywhere.]

[nosigntospeakof]

I'M SORRY.
HONESTLY.
I'LL STOP SNOOPING THROUGH YOUR LETTERS AND TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU I'LL TAKE YOU TO LUNCH IN HOGSMEADE THIS WEEKEND.

[psiignlanguage]

What's so interesting about my mail anyways?!

[nosigntospeakof]

NOT TOO MUCH.
YOU AND YOUR MUM ARE MUCH MORE INTERESTING IN PERSON THAN ON PARCHMENT.

[psiignlanguage]

Yes because we bicker a lot!
It's like watching a damn sitcom!

[nosigntospeakof]

YES, YOU BICKER.
BUT IT'S SORT OF SWEET.

[psiignlanguage]

There is nothing sweet about arguing with your mother in ancient Greek.