IC Prospective | Homestuck | 4th Year

[strideallknight]

Character: Dave Strider
Mun: restcalm
Plot specific: N

Okay, first off, if we gotta do a fucking love potion in potions when it's closer to Valentine's Day, I might just skip that class. No offense, Prof, but...just...no. Just no. That'd be like releasing the fucking kraken on the unsuspecting student body.

[No, he really won't skip, but he'd like to.]

Second...yo, Bro, am I gonna get points docked from my paper if I added a bit of pizzazz to it?

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He's not going to say anything about the skipping thing, because he wouldn't do anything but encourage it. Fuck Rhys and his stupid potion's class, he'd rather Dave skip every day.]

Well that'd depend on what kind of pizzazz, wouldn't it? If it's the clever kind then no, probably not. But if it's the obnoxious kind, then yep.

[strideallknight]

[It's fascinating when it's not about love potions okay.]

After Professor Ampora gave me a stern talking to about my artistic border of all my assignments to him, I figure I'd try something new. I also figured that it'd be pretty fucking rude of me to not include your assignments in these creative endeavors.

AKA, calligraphy. Yay or nay?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He can't help but snort.]

You think I'm gonna dock points for calligraphy? Dude, go for it. Why the hell not? Pretty handwriting is a big thing for some languages. Chicken scratch ain't gonna cut it.

'sides, it's ironic.

[Somehow.]

[strideallknight]

Gotta make sure. The last thing I need is to get points taken off for style. I wouldn't be able to handle the shame, Bro.

[If Bro says it's ironic, then it's fucking ironic. At least, that's Dave logic for it.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Nope. Go forth and stylize away, dude. At this point I'd be ashamed if you didn't.

[candycrabapple]

SOUNDS TO ME THAT YOU'RE JUST WORRIED THAT YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ONE OF THOSE STUPID POTIONS WRONG, AND END UP BEING UNABLE TO EVEN HAVE A FAKE RELATIONSHIP NOT TO MENTION A REAL ONE.

[strideallknight]

do you have any idea how lame and outdated making love potions is
do you
ok ill admit it can be hilarious sometimes but thats few and far between
im talking light years theyre so damn far
aside from which why the fuck would you need a love potion in the first place
its fake so whats the fucking point

[candycrabapple]

THEY'RE OUTDATED BECAUSE PEOPLE STARTED PREFERRING TO BE WITH PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T BRAIN DEAD LAMBS BLEATING PRAISES TO THEM, INSTEAD OF BEING CAPABLE OF A REAL AND LASTING CONNECTION.

MAYBE BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE SO PATHETIC AND USELESS THAT IT'S THE ONLY POSSIBLE WAY THEY COULD GET A RELATIONSHIP EVEN COUNTING THEIR MIRROR, THAT WOULD BE WHY.

AND ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT YOU, MR TOO-COOL-FOR-YOU STRIDER IS SAYING THAT HE IS A FAN OF REAL LOVE?

[strideallknight]

well yeah but hollywood obviously didnt get the memo
its a staple diet for a lot of romcoms

you sound like youve had personal experience with those types

why not
if the relationship in questions not got real emotions then its gonna fall apart real fucking quick or disastrously
not to mention you might wreck everything by building it on fantasy instead of reality
that kitkat is definitely not cool

[candycrabapple]

IT IS NOT A STAPLE FOR *GOOD* ROMCOMS, YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY JUST BEEN WATCHING THE WRONG ONES.

I GO TO A BOARDING SCHOOL, IT'S HARD TO AVOID TYPES LIKE THAT. THEY JUST POUR OUT OF THE FUCKING WOODWORKS.

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS WHERE I FEEL THE NEED TO RE-EVALUATE YOU AND HOW YOU COME AT LIFE, I'M NOT GOING TO LIE IT'S ALMOST CREEPY TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS, WHEN I'M SO USED TO YOU BEING AN INSUFFERABLE DOUCHE.

[strideallknight]

obviously
its like whenever i decide to watch a random ass romcom for irony it just turns into a big shitfest full of unfunny douchebaggery

and yet ive somehow managed to avoid most of them
im duly impressed with my luck

enjoy it while it lasts cause i doubt itll last long

[He has pretty good reasons for taking love seriously. Though, it's not like he's going to go tell Karkat his life story on that front. Maybe.]

[candycrabapple]

EVER THINK OF ACTUALLY ASKING SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE GENRE, EVEN IF YOU WANT TO WATCH IT FOR YOUR RIDICULOUS NEED TO FILL YOUR IRONY QUOTA THEN YOU'LL PROBABLY FIND SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY WORDS AND IS ENJOYABLE AND IRONY FULFILLING.

THAT OR PEOPLE DON'T COME WHINING TO YOU ABOUT ALL THEIR PROBLEMS BECAUSE YOU'RE AN UNFEELING DICK, IT COULD BE IT.

BELIEVE ME, IT NEVER ENTERED INTO MY MIND FOR EVEN A SECOND THAT IT WOULD LAST EVEN THIS LONG. I KNOW YOU AT LEAST THAT WELL.

[strideallknight]

the only dude i know of with a hard on for movies is john egbert
i think you can tell where that might go

you know i think id rather they didnt come to me about that shit
ill make sure to send anyone who comes crawling to me to you instead
i do not need to know about the drama and the wooby feels

im flattered
but ive got my reasons for thinking that
ill save you the time and say no im not going to elaborate so youll have to deal with my once in a blue moon cagey bs

[candycrabapple]

EGBERT IS NOT WHO YOU WOULD WANT TO BE TALKING ABOUT ABOUT GOOD MOVIES, LET ALONE GOOD ROMCOMS.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO DEAL WITH THEM? I DON'T, I ONLY PUT UP WITH THEM LONG ENOUGH SO THEY FIGURE OUT THEIR PROBLEMS AND FUCK OFF, HOPEFULLY TO NEVER COME BACK.

WELL THANK GOD FOR THAT, BECAUSE I NEVER SAID I WAS INTERESTED IN KNOW YOUR OH SO TERRIBLY INTERESTING ORIGIN STORY. WAIT, SCRATCH THAT, I DOUBT IT WAS INTERESTING IN ANYWAY.

[strideallknight]

i know but hes all ive got to go on
now that i think about it thats really fucking sad

your masochism knows no bounds does it

[candycrabapple]

WELL I KNOW FOR AN INDISPUTABLE FACT THAT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO KNOW BETTER. BUT YOU'RE RIGHT, IT REALLY IS SAD THAT HE'S ALL YOU HAVE TO GO ON.

[And Karkat only really has Gamzee, but that is besides the point.]

MASOCHISM? HOW IN THE NAME OF SWEET FUCK AM I MASOCHISTIC?

[strideallknight]

it was either him or english
which of them would you choose

what fun would there be in outright telling you

[candycrabapple]

QUITE OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT GOING TO PICK EITHER OF THOSE PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR MOVIE BUFFS. THEY ARE SO NOT MOVIE BUFFS IT ACTUALLY PAINED ME TO ACTUALLY PUT THEM TOGETHER IN A SENTENCE WITH THE WORDS.

I COULDN'T GIVE A CENTAURS LEFT BOLLOCK ABOUT YOUR FUN, THERE'S NOTHING MASOCHISTIC ABOUT ME YOU PAINFUL ATTEMPT AT HUMANITY.

[strideallknight]

the sad thing is that i have to agree with you

you continue talking to me even though everyone and their mother knows that i make you blow a gasket just by walking into the same room as you
that is one example of your masochism

[candycrabapple]

HOW IS IS SAD WHEN YOU'RE ACTUALLY AGREEING WITH THE PERSON WHO HAS PROVEN TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT HE IS ALWAYS FUCKING RIGHT? IT'S ACTUALLY SHOWING THAT FOR A CHANGE YOU'RE ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF BEING AN INTELLIGENT CREATURE WORTHY OF BEING CALLED A HUMAN, YOU SHOULD FEEL SO VERY PROUD TO HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR.

OH PLEASE, AS IF YOU ARE SPECIAL ENOUGH TO MAKE ME "BLOW A GASKET". I MEAN SURE I'VE HAD CONTAGIOUS DISEASES MORE TOLERABLE THAN YOU ARE, BUT THAT DOESN'T SAY MUCH BECAUSE HOW ANYONE TOLERATES YOU IS A MARVEL OF SCIENCE AND MAGIC. POSSIBLY EVEN ENGINEERING BECAUSE NO WAY ARE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE.