IC Prospective: Equius Zahhak

[strongjumps]

Character: Equius Zahhak
Canon: Homestuck
Mun: Phil
Plot Specific: Nope

D --> It is a truly depressing day. I have spent weeks researching and tracking the Centaurs of the Forbidden Forest. I went to great lengths to ensure that my little adventure would not result in punishment from the faculty. I braved the possibility of mortal danger, I risked life and limb, and for what?

To have my face spat upon both figuratively and literally by the very centaurs I sought. It was truly humiliating. I feel like the world's biggest fool.

I need a towel.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

IS YOUR ANUS DRIPPING THAT BADLY??

oh look its a slip

[strongjumps]

D --> No! Fudgesicles, It is not dripping at all!

I am simply covered in sweat from my excursion. It took much of my STRENGTH to find them and leave the forest without attracting unwanted attention.

I order you, stop being so 100d!

[plushaeusrumpified]

youre sweating.
you need towels.
the logical conclusions are being drawn as we speak.

show me.
where.
on the smuppet.
they touched you.
this is for your own good.
badtouching is frowned upon.
we need to know so we can go kick their pedo asses.

how do i emulate sweaty writing what is this i dont even

[strongjumps]

D --> Your logic is extreme and incomprehensibly vile. I will have you know that I am reporting your dubious conduct to the head of my house.

And I will repeat this one more time. They did NOT touch me. Even had they done so, I doubt your ability to stand up to their STRENGTH. Their fl e x in g mu s cu la tu re glis ten ing in the moonlig ht

i n e e d a t o w e l

[plushaeusrumpified]

oh my god youre crying.
come on dude just tell me what happened.
you dont gotta be afraid.
shhhh.
stop crying.
calm down a sec
shhh shhh shhhhhhh itll be ok.

i'm sorry this is just the only thing that came to mind but at least bro could be concerned more?

[strongjumps]

There is no response, only a growing mass of blue ink across the page. Looks like Equius knocked the thing over in his rush to find a towel...

Text > Voice

[plushaeusrumpified]

Holy shit are they after you again, did they spill your ink? Talk to me, kid, everything okay? Are they causing more damage? Quick, show me on the smuppet so I know how bad it is!

[strongjumps]

Bro is going to be met with a few shuddering sighs and a few crashing noises. And the sound of some sort of fabric or cloth.

[plushaeusrumpified]

What the actual fuck is going on- I don't hear hooves, so...

Wait are you getting off on being gangraped by those things? Are you masturbating? Oh my fuck this is worse than I thought.

yeah right equius

[strongjumps]

Wh-what?! No, that's preposterous!

I found a towel, and I did not realize how filthy the sweat made me feel until I was removing it from my person. It does not beat taking a shower, but it will have to do for as long as you keep pestering me.