IC Prospective

[centaurstestes]

Character: Equius Zahhak
Mun: Gnome
Plot specific: Not particularly


D --> Now that the Easter holidays are over and done with, I believe that now would be a good time to cease with the sheneighnigans
D --> I am tired of finding eggs in my things
D --> It's not funny
D --> Whoever is causing eggs to spontaneous spawn about my person had best stop it now
D --> I demand it
D --> If it does not stop, I will take measures to make it stop, and you will not like it

Comments

[mo_cara]

oH, hEy, BrO, yOu GoNnA mOtHeRfUcKiN eAt ThOsE?

[centaurstestes]

D --> No
D --> They're not cooked and I don't know if they have been fertilized or not
D --> I banish them back to wherever it is they came from

[mo_cara]

Oh.
ShIt, WaIt, DoEs ThAt MeAn ThErE bE sOmE rEaLlY mOtHeRfUcKiN fAt ChIcKeNs ArOuNd HeRe?

[centaurstestes]

D --> Possibly
D --> Or it could be the same egg summoned over and over again
D --> Or they could have been stolen from the kitchens
D --> Also, please do not use such crude language in front of me
D --> You know how I feel about it

[mo_cara]

sHiT, sOrRy, MoThErFuCkEr.
WaIt, HoLd Up.

[A pause, a few inkblots, then-]

ThErE, tHaT's MoThErF***In BeTtEr!
HeY, bRo, I gOt SoMe Sh*t FoR yOu.
It AiN't BeIn AlL nAtUrAl LiKe ThEm MoThErF***In EgGs.
Oh, D*Mn, ThOuGh, HoW dO yOu KnOw ThEm LiTtLe WhItE mIrAcLe LiQuId BaBy ChIcKeNs Is ReAl?
MaYbE ThErE's MoThErF***In CaNdY iNsIdE! ;o)

[centaurstestes]

D --> Oh my gosh, no, that is not better
D --> You've enchanted the page to censor your words for you, haven't you
D --> Could you possibly get any lazier
D --> Really, would it kill you to put even a little effort into bettering yourself, Makara
D --> I can hardly stand to be seen with you

D --> Because I shook them, Makara, how else
D --> They did not rattle, therefore they must be real and not contain candy
D --> It's called deductive reasoning
D --> I would suggest you try it, but I highly doubt you have the brain capacity for even basic logic

[mo_cara]

oH h*lL nO, yOu AiN't Be FiNdInG mE hOlDiNg MoThErF***In CoUrT wItH aLl ThAt LoGiC rUbBiSh.
SoRrY, bRo, I kNoW iT bE WoRkInG aLl GoOd Up In YoUr TiCkToCk PaN, bUt ThAt Sh*t Be StEaLiNg My MiRaClEs, YoU kNoW?
tHaT's FoR tHeM sMaRt MoThErF***ErS lIkE yOu WhAt DoN't NeEd WhAt I gOt.
AnYwAy, YoU bE wAnTiN yOuR eAsTeR pReSeNt, My FiNe AnD fAnCy FrIeNd?

[centaurstestes]

[Ugh. So much ugh. Gamzee, you are just awful, completely and utterly loathsome. Why does he even tolerate your existence?]

[Apparently, because presents is why]

D --> I don't want whatever it is you have, and I tr001y suspect you don't need it either
D --> Quite frankly, I'm 100% certain that whatever it is is a bad habit that should be dropped immediately before you further damage what little brainpower you have left
D --> Still, yes, I would like my present

[mo_cara]

[Also probably because very few other people can tolerate Equius's existence, either? Not that Gamzee would ever say that.]

RiGhT oN!
wHeRe YoU bE aT, mY bRoThEr?

[centaurstestes]

[He has friends! Kind of... He has people he knows, anyway]

D --> The library
D --> Don't make noise

[mo_cara]

yOu GoT iT, mOtHeRf***eR!

[And a little time later, have an ambling, too tall teenage boy making his way through the shelves, looking for his friend (well, he thinks Equius is his friend, it may not be the other way around). His robes are open, and he's wearing polkadot pajama pants and a t-shirt on underneath, but at least he hasn't bothered with his facepaint today. His face lights up when he spots the other boy, though and he grins and waves, and actually manages not to honk.]

[centaurstestes]

[Prior to Gamzee's arrival, Equius was bent over a book, robes immaculate, absently twirling a bit of hair through his fingers as he read. He didn't actually notice the other boy's arrival, and it wasn't until Gamzee was practically at the table that he even glanced up.]

Oh, Makara... [There's a hint of red on the tips of his ears, he's embarrassed for being caught off guard like that, but he does tend to lose himself in his books.] My apologies, I was reading.

[mo_cara]

[The older boy just grins, his friendly, easy grin, and reaches out to tweak a bit of Equius's hair. He likes Equius's hair - hardly any of the other boys have long hair like that. Gamzee's is actually kind of long, too, but not in the same way. His is mostly just sloppy curls all over the place and is long on accident, since he never bothers to cut it.

He doesn't say anything, though. After all, he was supposed to make no noise!]

[centaurstestes]

[Rolling his eyes at the hair tugging, Equius sighs and just shakes his head at Gamzee. He doesn't mind people playing with his hair, not really, but it's the sort of physical gesture that makes him a wee bit uncertain]

[That, and he can tell Gamzee is taking his words literally. Honestly, it's all or nothing with him, and it drives him bonkers]

You can speak, you know. Just not loudly. But above a whisper. Like I am speaking.

[mo_cara]

Sure thing, motherfucker! [And Gamzee pitches his voice almost exactly at Equius's tone. He's actually kind of good at that, weirdly enough.] What's you got your sniff holes all up in there? [glancing at the book curiously]

[centaurstestes]

[It's creepy, Gamzee. Enjoy the flat look Equius is giving you.]

Charms. Where is my present.

[mo_cara]

Oh, I guess it's around here somewhere. [cheerfully, as he starts patting his pockets in what appears to be a random order] I had some motherfuckin' eggs for you, but I guess you don't be liking them that much, huh? And them chickens around here is fat enough.

[centaurstestes]

I don't dislike eggs. [Sigh, eyeroll] It is the intent with which the eggs were delivered that I disliked. Since you're obviously doing it out of some perceived measure of friendship, it's different.

[mo_cara]

Hell, yeah, we're mates! [happily, and then he'll start producing eggs from his pocket, setting out three for Equius, all rather elaborately and painstakingly hand-painted. Gamzee is not the world's greatest artist, but he's not bad, either, and tiny unicorns dance across one egg, centaurs another, and horses in a dozen different colors adorn the third] That ain't your present, though, hang on ...

[And the random digging through his pockets begins again.]

[centaurstestes]

[Gamzee is completely ignored in favor of hungrilygreedily, but carefully snatching up the eggs and clutching them to his chest. Horses, precious, beautiful, wondrous horses. Gamzee sure does know the way to his heart!]

[mo_cara]

Yeah, me and Eridan went down to the village on Suly Blodau, because they had the motherfuckin' market, you know? And I saw this-

[Oh, wait. Gamzee's come all the way down here without Equius's gift, because that sure as heck wouldn't have fit in his pocket. Whoops! He pulls out his wand, giving it a little flick.] Accio my motherfuckin' bag what Equius's present was in! Anyway, there was all this fine shit down there, and old lady Davies, not the one what is always sitting out by the motherfuckin' sea, but the one what lives by the pub, she's always making this cool shit and I think she was selling for charity or something, and anyway my da done give me some motherfuckin' pocket money, and I thought maybe you'd be wanting-

[Aaaand Gamzee is smacked in the back of the head by the paper bag he's summoned.] Daaaamn! [He does turn to grab it, though.]