You need to get your eyes checked Princie because only the Great Gilbert can pull off all those spectacular dives with his lightning fast reflexes and eagle sharp eyes! All the other wimps wet their pants when I grace my divine presence on the pitch, because I sustain myself on their delicious tears of LOSING and PAIN and JEALOUSY.

I'll teach those Muggles how to run their public transport better! A genius wizard like myself is exactly what those unenlightened and backward people need! It'll never be as good as what wizards have, of course, because they've got no magic, but hey, with my brilliance and originality I'll come up with something that'll help them in their dull, boring lives.