IC Pr9spective: Kankri Vantas

[c9rp9realn9rmative]

Character name: Kankri Vantas
Player name: Ri
Plot-related? Nope



Hell9, students 9f H9gwarts and students at heart. 6eginning this m9st auspici9us year at 9ur prestigi9us academy, there are n9netheless s9me predictca6le c9cnerns to 6e raised in any such diverse gr9up 9f individuals. I shall attempt t9 6e 6rief.

9ver time I have n9ticed a startling lack of c9ncern f9r the feelings of y9ur fell9w students and staff. It pains me t9 see infighting and disc9rd t9 this degree. Theref9re I w9uld like t9 9ffer my inexhausti6le skill as a mediat9r, alth9ugh I am n9 l9nger technically 9ne 9f y9ur peers. If y9u have any c9ncerns, feel free to appr9ach me at any time. I will d9 my 6est to pr9vide a n9njudgmental envir9nment t9 f9ster g99dwill and free and in9ffensive discussion 6etween all parties inv9lved.

Enj9y the new year, every9ne, and warmest welc9me back t9 H9gwarts!

Hello, students of Hogwarts and students at heart. Beginning this most auspicious year at our prestigious academy, there are nonetheless some predictable concerns to be raised in any such diverse group of individuals. I shall attempt to be brief.

Over time I have noticed a startling lack of concern for the feelings of your fellow students and staff. It pains me to see infighting and discord to this degree. Therefore I would like to offer my inexhaustible skill as a mediator, although I am no longer technically one of your peers. If you have any concerns, feel free to approach me at any time. I will do my best to provide a nonjudgmental environment to foster goodwill and free and inoffensive discussion between all parties involved.

Enjoy the new year, everyone, and warmest welcome back to Hogwarts!

Comments

[glaringprotego]

[Her writing is a little shaky]

Kankri?

[c9rp9realn9rmative]

Hell9, Deidre. C9ngratulati9ns 9n y9ur app9intment as Hufflepuff Head 9f H9use.

And 9n y9ur marriage t9 my br9ther.
Alth9ugh that is a much m9re belated tiding.

[glaringprotego]

We've b33n there fur months Kankri, you couldn't tell us you were there? I

[Biting her journal is a bad habit and one she had thought she had grown out of. Shows how seeing people again brings back who you were. There are definite teeth marks on the page, as per the usual student-Dierdre habits]

Thank you. I'm assuming you know of Art and my daughter Nepeta. And Karkat of course. Since you seem to know everything.

[c9rp9realn9rmative]

It is m9re difficult than y9u w9uld think t9 6reak an 18-year silence. 6ut since y9u 69th are g9ing t9 6e here full-time, I 9wed it t9 the tw9 9f y9u t9 reveal myself.

[He takes a thoughtful moment, scratching ink quietly into the teeth marks until they're bright red.]

I have 6een watching Karkat and Nepeta since they were first years. They are g99d children.

[glaringprotego]

Of course they are. I just don't understand
Why were you silent?

And why are you coloring in those marks? I didn't mean to do that you know, it's just old habit.

[c9rp9realn9rmative]

I was afraid.
If Salvad9r f9und 9ut what I had bec9me, that I was still ar9und, that he w9uld cling t9 me and f9rget t9 live.
I wanted t9 pr9tect him, 9nce m9re. I'm s9rry that my silence hurt y9u. And I am s9rry if my presence hurts even m9re. But I w9uld rather Salvad9r find 9ut fr9m me, than fr9m a peer wh9 glimpsed me 6y accident.

9h, s9rry, I was just...thinking.

[glaringprotego]

He will probably be fur more upset to hear you were here and never told us. Weren't you lonely Kankri? Didn't you miss us?

Thinking about what?

#filtered #tw: angst #y9ur c9rp9realn9rmative privilege #check it

[c9rp9realn9rmative]

9f c9urse I was l9nely. 9f c9urse I missed y9u. I wanted n9thing m9re than t9 6e a6le t9 stand there 6ehind my 6r9ther while he made his v9ws t9 the l9ve 9f his life.
I wanted t9 c9ngratulate him 9n 6ec9ming a father. I wanted m9re than anything t9 shake his hand and give him a hug, t9 6e there t9 share in the happiest day 9f my twin 6r9ther’s life.

6ut I c9uldn’t. I didn’t even get t9 share in his graduati9n.

I kn9w he’ll 6e angry with me, I kn9w that he’ll 6e upset. I have watched 9ver him f9r the last 18 years, and n9t said a single w9rd. 6ut I w9uld rather have him think that I had 6een resting in peace than t9 6ring up the 9ld mem9ries. I l9ved him t99 much t9 d9 that t9 him.

[glaringprotego]

Kankri
I'm so sorry. I wish you had told us, we could have exchanged vows here. You could have attended! We could have b33n closer than this. You didn't have to decide that he couldn't handle things.

He would have done everything in his power to include you Kankri. You know this. I know he probably couldn't have handled it back then. We were all too young. But he would have wanted to know before now.

I just wish things had b33n handled differently

[c9rp9realn9rmative]

I wanted t9 make myself kn9wn, 6ut I was scared. I am n9thing 6ut a shade 9f the past, y9u and Salvad9r 69th deserve t9 live f9rward in time.
I supp9se 9n a m9re selfish level, I was aware 9f the internalized c9rp9realn9rmativity 9f wizarding s9ciety and I was afraid that my change in state w9uld alter y9ur percepti9n 9f me and theref9re y9ur mem9ry (y9u meaning 69th y9urself and Salvad9r).

6ut y9u kn9w me. Y9u kn9w that the last thing that I w9uld ever want t9 d9 is upset y9u and Salvad9r.
I am starting t9 6elieve that it w9uld have 6een 6etter had I never decided t9 reveal myself. That y9u and Salvad9r w9uld have 6een happier and 6etter 9ff had I just left the castle instead.

[There’s enough of a pause between when he writes those last two sentences and when he scribbles them out, that she might have caught the jist of them.]

I’m s9rry, Diedre.

#way to impose society's attitudes on them

[glaringprotego]

Kankri no
You are our past and you are present.
I will be glad to s33 you again. He would be glad to s33 you again.

We would never be happier not to know you were still around.
For all you talk of corporealnormative attitudes, you s33m to have bought into it most of all. Why wouldn't we want to s33 our family again?

#9h my g9d y9u're right #He is a h9rrible n9n-pers9n

[c9rp9realn9rmative]

[Wow, you rendered him completely speechless. Good job, Diedre.

It's a few long minutes before he sets quill to page again.]

Then I will 6e glad t9 see y9u again as well.

#what #no #did not say that never would

[glaringprotego]

As will we all.
I trust you'll be visible and all?

#HE 9FFENDED HER #S9B #H9W C9ULD HE HAVE 6EEN S9 STUPID

[c9rp9realn9rmative]

Visi6le, yes.

It pains me m9re than y9u kn9w t9 admit that I am n9 m9re c9rp9real than any 9ther gh9st.

[You won't be able to hug him. Or touch him at all without going right through.]