IC Prospective: Jake English

[ficklefuckwit]

Character: Jake English!
Canon: Homestuck
Mun: Anna
Plot specific: Nnnnope.



I dont believe neytiri is going to take terribly well to me flying around on a regular basis.
She never did like it when i left the house in scotland, once she couldnt come with me anymore.
What am i going to do with her when im not a first year and can try out for quidditch? Goodness, what a predicament.
Neytiri, darling, youre the neediest feline ive ever known.
Though i suppose i havent known many.

On another topic, how long is too long for someone like myself to continually get lost in these blasted hallways?
I feel like its excusable to get lost in a new place for a period, but it feels like maybe ive been getting lost longer than i should.
Never have had the greatest sense of direction.

[[ooc; hi i meant to post this like three days ago sob.]]

Comments

they're totally like, in school or sth

[givesyouaboner]

Did you seriously name your cat after a shitty blue alien?
Wow, lame. I feel sorry for your cat.
She can be friends with Orangina, though. They can scout out the dorm for pests and get rid of them all.

You're still getting lost? I suggest investing in a map or something.

is it kosher to just assume that? i should have asked that before i posted.

[ficklefuckwit]

Pardon you, neytiri is a majestic, powerful female lead character and the name suits my cat quite splendidly.
And she seems to like it just fine, so your opinion is completely stupid.
Neytiri could probably obscure orangina with two paws, wed best be careful letting them roam unattended. Id hate for yours to get lost in the sea of mines majesty.

Hmm, that might be a good idea. Who do you figure i should ask for something like that?

whatever helps works, i think :3b

[givesyouaboner]

Ahahahha brb, I'm choking on my laughter.
That just means your cat is naive and doesn't know any better. If she realised who she was namesake to, she'd hate herself.
Orangina is still small, but she can take care of herself. She's worthy enough for shades; she can handle anything and she's a superb swimmer.

A teacher? Alternatively I can draw one for you.

[ficklefuckwit]

Rude, strider.
You put sunglasses on your cat? Really?

Im not so sure i trust your drawing ability to not get me even more lost.

[givesyouaboner]

Just being real with you, bro.
She loves them. I'm teaching her to give pawbumps.

Fiine, don't trust me.
I wonder what your professors will think of habitual tardies.

[ficklefuckwit]

That is the strangest bonding ritual with a pet ive ever heard of.
Then again my grandmother used to feed her dog steaks that glowed green.

You cant blame me for being suspicious!
You arent exactly picasso, my friend.
But oh, what if it does make me late? I cant get a reputation for being tardy if i want to keep good marks!!

[givesyouaboner]

Your gran tried turning her dogs into Godzilla, but helping a kitten get her Strider swag is weird?
I don't get you.

Oh yeah?
Guess what, cubism is lame.
If you aren't careful, you will be. They'd either give you lines or detention, probably.
I heard if you're particularly late they feed you to the forest monsters.

[ficklefuckwit]

Becquerel may very well have been an animagus and not a dog at all, dirk.
Not that that makes the green steaks any less strange, but he was a very unusual animal!
I do wonder whats become of him sometimes.

Forest monsters i can probably handle.
Its the detention and lines im not looking forward to.
And the perpetual notion that i failed in my studies.

[givesyouaboner]

That's not freaky at all.
Your dog was just really some dude creeping on you while you slept.
Cool.

Oh right. I keep forgetting you're real life actual jungle boy Jake English.
It's okay, Mogli, I'm sure they'll cut you some slack.

[ficklefuckwit]

Oh hush, gram said i could always trust bec to help if i was in trouble, if he was actually a person in the form of a strange teleporting dog im certain he only ever watched me sleep for my own safety.
Stop ruining my boyhood.

It wasnt the jungle it was the outback, dirk.
And i never spent any of it running about in just my skivvies or making enemies of tigers, i can promise you that.

[givesyouaboner]

That depends. Did he lick himself while looking out for you?
If so, then his intentions may not have been best.

You just swang from tree to tree and yelled about like a howler monkey.

[ficklefuckwit]

I... cant say i ever really paid attention to his licking habits.

You realize that most living in coober pedy is underground, yes?

[givesyouaboner]

You should be more observant. Dreadful things could happen otherwise.

Is your hometown really the Mole People capitol of Australia, Jake?

[ficklefuckwit]

Youre bluffing, you wouldnt know how to handle a devilbeast like becquerel either.

Hush! Temperatures in the area regularly climb into the one-twenties, to escape the heat and the unforgiving sun most live underground. The style of living and architecture is actually quite neat.
Gram always scolded me for spending time topside anyhow.

[givesyouaboner]

I could send it away. That'd be enough.

You really are a mole person.
That or a mutant, destined to spend all of eternity in the sewers.
Going up to the surface is illegal for you.

[ficklefuckwit]

He was my grandmothers dog, why would i need to send him away?

Dammit dirk we are not mole people.
And if you are insinutating that i am a teenage mutant ninja turtle, im not actually a teenager yet so youre a bit off your mark.

[givesyouaboner]

Because it's creepy?

Ha. I never insinuated you were that cool, Jake.
How are the streets of Old New York?

[ficklefuckwit]

Strider please, he was a family pet. Youre being very unnecessary.

Youre really not a very pleasant individual, are you?

[givesyouaboner]

Wow hey. Don't get your panties in a twist.
It was a joke.

[ficklefuckwit]

You misunderstand my attachment to my grandmother, and by extension, her dog.
It was my own fault for not being clear.

[givesyouaboner]

I uh look
I didn't mean anyt
I'm at fault here too.
I shouldn't have said anything.

[ficklefuckwit]

I regularly forget to tell people ahead of time that i get a bit snippy when my grandmother is spoken ill of.
She died just recently, you see.
So its hardly your fault for joking when i didnt explain myself.

[givesyouaboner]

Jake.
I
I understand that.
Understand it so much I should've known better than to say anything at all.

[ficklefuckwit]

This conversation has gotten a bit heavy, hasnt it. *clears his throat*
I think we can move on to happier things, dont you?

Hows about we go about with intent to cause some form of ruckus, strider?

[givesyouaboner]

That sounds like a plan.
I heard the kitchen is near the Hufflepuff dorms.
We could get us some broschetta.
And be bros.
Maybe have some broscht.
Then we could go explore the dungeon or something.

[ficklefuckwit]

Ah, broschetta, is it? Thats rather witty, yes, i like that.
With my penchant for getting lost, could i meet you somewhere first? You seem to have a much better handle on the schools layout.

[givesyouaboner]

Hell. Fucking. Yes.
Do you think you can get to the Great Hall without hangups?

[ficklefuckwit]

Certainly!
That is actually about the only place i know the whereabouts of from just about anyplace.
Suppose its the large inviting doors and the fact that its nearly the first place i saw here.

[givesyouaboner]

It really is hard to miss it.
I'll meet you there in about ten minutes.
If you're not there by then, I'll start a search party.

[ficklefuckwit]

Ha ha, good show, chap.
Ill see you in ten, then.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[With that, Dirk closes his journal and stuffs it in his satchel. It takes but a few minutes for him to make his way out of the library and on his way to the Great Hall. He keeps his eye out for Jake the entire time.]}

[ficklefuckwit]

[Jake takes nearly the whole of his ten minutes to get down from the dormitories to the Great Hall, if mostly because he got distracted looking out one of the windows.]

[When he makes it to the Hall he's rushing a little, and nearly collides with Dirk.]

--ah, punctual as always!

[givesyouaboner]

Hell yeah.

And you didn't get lost.

_{[For this, Jake earns a fistpump.]}

[ficklefuckwit]

Not horrifically, no! I got briefly turned around at one of the hallways, but I found my way.

[He meets the fistbump with zeal, and then immediately surpasses it to swing the very same arm around Dirk's shoulders in a hug.] I'm sorry for the misunderstanding earlier, Strider, I get a little tetchy when someone seems to speak ill of my gram, you see.

[dou8letrou8le]

Just 8e careful not to wind up in the dungeons.
Students never come 8ack from there.

[ficklefuckwit]

Suppose ill probably know what a dungeon looks like when i come upon it, at least?
I mean theyre generally pretty... dungeon-y, right?

[dou8letrou8le]

That or when the dungeon creatures find you.

[ficklefuckwit]

That worries me considerably less than never coming back and missing all of my lessons.

[dou8letrou8le]

Are you serious?
You would r8ther 8e mauled 8y a 8east than miss your lessons?

[ficklefuckwit]

Im quite accustomed to beasts!
My grandmother owned one, sort of.

[thesmallesttrickster]

I am lead to believe getting lost in Hogwarts is perfectly normal, even into the higher years.

[ficklefuckwit]

Splendid!
Or, i suppose, not so splendid, as getting lost is quite terrible and frustrating, but im a bit reassured by the notion that its not just me!