How about now? Look, I've already gone and written the letter for you:
"Dear Mrs. Holmes,
It is with great pride that I write to inform you that your eldest son, Mycroft Holmes, has won the coveted Prat of the Century Award. There was a lot of competition, but the breadth and depth of his arseholery really set him in a league above his competition. Not only is he a bully who really only cares about getting his own way and damn the opinions of anyone else, but he wraps all that up in a thin, transparent sheet that he laughingly calls brotherly concern and then ties it up with a ribbon of completely fake maturity. How he got to be Head Boy is anyone's guess, but it probably involved a lot of brown-nosing (bonus points for style).
Best,
John H. Watson"
Writing requires so much exertion after all. You might get a cramp from all the activity.
John gives no shits if he loses all the points
How about now? Look, I've already gone and written the letter for you:
"Dear Mrs. Holmes,
It is with great pride that I write to inform you that your eldest son, Mycroft Holmes, has won the coveted Prat of the Century Award. There was a lot of competition, but the breadth and depth of his arseholery really set him in a league above his competition. Not only is he a bully who really only cares about getting his own way and damn the opinions of anyone else, but he wraps all that up in a thin, transparent sheet that he laughingly calls brotherly concern and then ties it up with a ribbon of completely fake maturity. How he got to be Head Boy is anyone's guess, but it probably involved a lot of brown-nosing (bonus points for style).
Best,
John H. Watson"
Writing requires so much exertion after all. You might get a cramp from all the activity.